Lies I Tell Myself #1

1) I'm not a very good short story writer

2) I'm not a good writer in general

3) People just haven't realized it yet

4) I'm never going to get this done on time

Truths I can tell myself now: 

a) All of these lies are getting in the way of writing a good story to be point where the fourth lie will become the truth if I can't see past the lies

b) This circle of self-sabotage/self-fulfilling prophecy has been a staple for my whole life

c) The truth is that I'm ready to quit this cycle. But I'm still working out how.

There is a certain amount of rumination that some pieces of writing need; sometimes you know when it's had enough time in the old mental crock pot, but other times there is no real way to know until you dip your spoon in and sample the goods.

Sometimes you're too afraid to. What if you used bad stock and the whole thing is a waste of time and energy? What if you put in the wrong ingredients?

Thankfully, unlike actual food, I've not found that there's a point at which an idea is overcooked. The only real danger is that you tell yourself all the lies that mean you don't actually check to see if it's ready for writing. That you blow through deadlines. Disappoint others. Yourself. Slump into a vicious cycle of self-flagellation that only makes the lies more truthy.

I'm trying to throw away my weapons of self-destruction. 

The truth is, I can write a short story. There is evidence I can be good at it too. I've been asked to be in several anthologies, I've been a finalist for awards, I even had a series of phone calls and emails with a producer from Hollywood who wanted to use one in a horror anthology series. It never eventuated, but that was damn cool.

I can write a story.

The truth is that right now I'm burned out and so, yeah, maybe I'm not capable of writing the exact story that I want to, and maybe it won't sing the way I wish it would, but I'll do the best that I can.

And that is good enough.