A Few of My Favourite Things

and hopefully yours too!

A lot of people have asked me how they can help me while I go through treatment for cancer - was there something that might help to bring me some joy during this time?

My initial response to whether I need anything is generally ‘no’, a default setting because I was a neurodivergent kid who felt like too much and didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. Who also felt like the best way to be safe and loved was to be as un-difficult as possible. I was easy. Compliant. Quiet. My needs were too. Or rather, I got so used to shoving them down that I genuinely believed I didn’t have needs. What I needed was for everyone else to be happy or at least okay.

I’m still working on figuring out what I need. What I want is sometimes easier for me to tap into, though the more overwhelmed I am, the smaller those wants and needs get unless it’s generally a ‘I want to hide under a rock with a book and my dog’ want.

ANYWAY, the whole point of all this is to say that while I don’t know what my needs are or will be (ha, I’ve never had breast cancer before, nor a mastectomy, let alone a bilateral), the first thing that I thought would bring me joy was that if people thought about their favourite things and shared those things with me.

Knowing what brings you joy will bring more joy into my life.

It will also give me more things to explore and enjoy while I am in my recovery period - maybe I will find a new favourite show, movie, or book! Maybe I will send my husband out to buy your fav chocolate or coffee or ice cream so I can give it a go. Maybe I will see some photos that will make me smile and brighten my day, or a funny meme or video.

So, with that in mind - if you would like to share some of your fav things with me, I would really love that. You can share them in the comments below, or you can send me a message on Instagram or reply to the email copy of this post, and if you are really called to, I am totally willing to accept things sent in the mail (a piece of paper with your fav scent on it? I don’t know).

I’m doing my best to surrender myself to this whole process, to allow the people who care for me to be there for me, and to accept that care with more grace than I normally do. Or just, you know, accept it in general.

There are lessons in every moment of life, and I am trying so hard to take note of the ones that are cropping up for me. I can feel the love I am surrounded with, and I am accepting that as well, rather than trying to convince everyone that they are wrong and I am undeserving. It’s funny how sometimes it takes a big bad for you to really see these things clearly.

You’re all amazing and I’m so grateful that you take the time to read some of my posts. Please know that you really don’t have to share anything if you don’t want to.

I thought I would share a few of my current fav things.

Song: Night at the Opera by Emei - this is just super fun. I wasn’t sure what to think of it the first time I heard it, but it’s got some great moments. (The fame, the flash, the trauma!)

Book: I finished This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me by Ilona Andrews recently and really enjoyed it - was fun, and has an excellent premise though OMG CLIFFHANGER, I need the next book asap and I think it’s going to be a while because the book only released this year and it was a chonker. Currently reading The Brides by Charlotte Cross which my lovely friend Greg gave to me about the women at the centre of the Dracula story, told mostly in epistolary format I believe. Really enjoying it so far!

Drink: I am really loving a dirty chai at the moment. So good.

Other things: chilly mornings and clear starry nights. Aren’t they delicious? My part time youth librarian job - I just love it so much and it’s one of my happy places. I am going to miss being there so much while I am recovering from surgery! The RPG campaign my brother is running and our group which we have dubbed the Murder Hobos due to a casual reference one of the non-player characters we interacted with used. We definitely do wander around and do a lot of maiming and murder. It’s my first time playing an RPG (I was too scared to do it when I was younger for fear of getting it ‘wrong’, and now I know that there is no wrong), our group is SO fun and I laugh so much and I am so thankful for them.

This naturally means that I am now also addicted to shiny dice...

Your turn, if you’d like to share :-)